why can’t i sleep?
i’ve been thinking too about how i should come out to my mom and i just don’t know how to bring it up and then she sent me an email where she mentioned hoping that in the future she would have a spare bedroom where me and my partners/family could visit so like idk if that was just word choice or she already thinks i’m bi. and like i know she wouldn’t care. i just don’t know how it would organically come up.
the best thing that happened to me today was when i made a playlist on spotify and one of my friends told me she liked it
also i’ve been skyping with my ex everyday. and i think i was forming this fantasy where we lived in the same city after graduation. but never mentioned it to him. and i don’t think he has that same fantasy. because he explicitly told me he doesn’t want to live in the city i want to live in even if i live there. so i kind of feel like someone is squeezing my heart like in the once upon a time show.
i’ve been thinking a lot lately about if i need to/should come out as bisexual and i feel like i should but it just seems hard and also unnecessary with my close friends because they all know i’ve hooked up with at least one girl and am attracted to girls even if i’ve never like “come out”. i don’t know. i don’t know how to go about it. but i feel like i should because like invisibility and all that but i don’t want to be shouting off the rooftops or anything and there’s the whole college girl experimenting stereotype bullshit and i don’t know. i can’t even form sentences.
you know what’s really fun is when you start sobbing about something you didn’t think you cared about and then your contact gets stuck basically behind your eye and it takes 10 minutes to get it out i feel really great super awesome right now
remember when i came up on acid during james blake’s set at treasure island mmmmmmmmm